By now, I've been without a smartphone for 30 days. I still allowed myself access to the computer, mind you. The ban included smartphone and smartphone only. Here’s what I noticed.
It was surprisingly easy. I took the challenge because I had an inkling I may have been addicted to my smartphone, but while my use of it was compulsive, I now know I can’t call it addictive. It makes sense, though. Using a smartphone never felt good to me. It never gave me any noticeable highs to get addicted to. It merely distracted me from gnawing, gray boredom and gave me an easy way out of many everyday problems without forcing me to rely on my own memory and deduction. I remember someone calling smartphone prothesis for the mind, and I think it’s an apt description.
So, what happened to me when I put said prothesis away for 30 days? Well, first of all, it opened a possibility for accessing the present moment. The human mind makes it difficult enough as it is, and the presence of the smartphone makes it outright impossible. There were a couple moments when I felt truly content, which is huge for someone like me who lives in a perpetual state of mild discomfort.
Another thing which surprised me was the improvement in my working memory. I can’t explain it in any other way than cessation of innumerable background processes that were eating up my proverbial RAM. If you asked me what those background processes were, I couldn’t tell you. It’s not that I get stuck thinking about whatever crap that had scrolled past my glazed over eyes. If anything, the content fails to engage me in any meaningful level, and yet, somehow, it accumulates somewhere amidst my slothful neurons and fogs my mind. Go figure.
Another thing, which I believe is linked to working memory, was increased clarity of thought and easier word recall. I still have issues with both, but the improvement was noticeable. I believe it’s directly linked to what I talked about in previous paragraph.
It’s said that social media makes us unhappy, because we are comparing our lives to other people’s carefully curated impression of what their life is like. I never related to that explanation. What I believe made me unhappy was that my focus went from long term gratification to short term. It’s already well known that social media is designed to be habit-forming, and for something to be addictive it tends to include dopamine in the equation somehow. To engage dopamine, I don’t need social media. A phone with games and internet connection is more than enough for me to slip into chronic avoidance of the present moment.
Based on my personal experience, the dopaminergic pull is strong, but the actual pleasure is shallow and short lived. It’s pleasurable the way the state of hope is. It’s at its most powerful when it’s anticipatory, but deflates when the anticipated thing arrives into the present moment. To enjoy anything in the present moment, you need an entirely different type of skillset. That skillset is appreciation for what is, and I personally don’t think dopaminergic activities helps us do that. I understand dopamine as the neurotransmitter that convinces us to pursue something, to motivate us to be active in service of a goal. The base implication is desire for something that is not in the now. We need to engage in different type of pleasure to derive satisfaction from what has arrived into the present moment. For a chronically discontent doer like me, doing that is not at all intuitive, but putting the phone away is a vital first step if I ever hope to learn the value of the now.
Closing thoughts: The world is in a regrettable state where getting by without a smartphone is difficult. Wanna park a car? Surprise. You need an app to pay the fee. Wanna access your bank account online? Boom. Two factor authentication. It’s disheartening, and I don’t expect the trajectory to change soon. Smartphone is going to occupy space in my life for unforeseen amount of time, and my responsibility is to make sure that I give myself plenty of moments where I have no choice but to sit in the now, face myself and give a shot at restoring connection to that little, dwindling core buried under all the noise and vague discomfort.