The title is an echo of a quote I’m certain I’ve heard somewhere and yet can’t recall in its entirety. Google wasn’t much help either. The point of the quote was that for humans, negativity comes easy. It’s happiness that’s extraordinary. The notion lived with me ever since, because there was truth to the statement.
If my mind gets lazy, it’s as if gravity pulls it towards a black hole of endless negative ruminations. It’s almost like negativity is the default state of the mind and drab topics are the junk food it shovels down its throat if left to its own devices. Perhaps negativity is easy stimulation it latches on if there’s nothing else for it to do. The funny thing is that when I was younger, I thought positivity was the default. The mainstream. The easy option. I no longer think that way. I think people are inherently biased towards negativity, and it takes conscious effort to counteract that. I’m not talking about shallow toxic positivity where you are pressured to plaster a smile over your misery while your breaking voice is enslaved to chant empty platitudes. I mean the type of positivity where you have mined for ores of genuine happiness. The type that leaves you feeling empowered, not depleted. And boy, it sure is hard. I don’t know why I ever thought it wasn’t. If happiness was easy, we would all be in a never-ending state of bliss and no one needs heroin because we all would just be getting high on life.
Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Back in the days I used to be a habitual complainer. The negative Nancy. The moaning Myrtle. Not only was I miserable, but I also saw it as my right to release my misery into the air other people were forced to breathe. I did not grasp just how corrosive it is for other people, and now I’m forced to wear scarlet A and obligated to chant countless Hail Marys as I throw dust over my head.
I realized sharing problems isn’t vulnerable to me at all. Sharing happiness is. Happiness is fucking fragile, man. It’s a fuckload more fragile if you clutch it while surrounded by people frothing at the mouth to rain on any unfortunate parade that ends up on their radar. I’m mentally reciting Hail Mary as I write this.
To all the positive people out there, the miners of nuggets and the appreciators of things: You are a gift to this miserable space rock. I revere you. Keep on keeping on.